Living Waters Fellowship

If I had been asked a year ago to share my testimony, I would have said, and truthfully so, that I was raised in a Christian home. My Daddy is a Baptist pastor, recognizing my sin, I accepted Christ as my Savior at age 7, alone in my bedroom. I passionately loved Christ and in wanting to serve Him with my life, I entered Baptist Bible College. Where I fell, or rather, walked brazenly into sin following my senior year. The Lord let me stray for a few years, then slapped me with heavy chastening, dragged me kicking and screaming to Iowa, where I have learned the peace that comes with full surrender to Him. And all that is true. But there is so much more to the story. Mine is the love story of a girl, pursued by a Father Who loves her far more than she ever dared dream possible.

When I was twelve, I discovered that my parents were mere teenagers when they chose to give me life. In the monumental months before Roe v. Wade, my teen-age parents, decided to make a tremendous sacrifice and allow me to live.  This realization brought with it not only a deep appreciation for the sacrifice my parents had made, but a tremendous amount of insecurity and uncertainty.

Entering college, I was certain that no one could or should love someone as unlovely as I was. I buried myself in work, in classes, in superficial friendships. Smiling as though I did not have a care in the world; inwardly I contemplated suicide daily, simply as a means for escape from the pain.  Never really wanting to die, just wanting the pain to stop.  After graduation, I found myself thrust into the world for the first time without authority.  25 years old, no rules, and did I ever like it! For the first time I was noticed by men.  Godly men, no, but I was so desperate for love. Time and time again I handed my heart to someone who appeared to “want me” and it would come back to me, more bruised, badly beaten; until there was no longer any way to recognize its value. I continued my patterns of fleshly desires, ignoring that God had removed every vestige of blessing in my life. I struggled in every way possible—physically, financially, emotionally, but I refused to relinquish. I had set my heart after one thing, one man, and nothing, no one would change my mind!

In December of 2000, I made an incredibly foolish decision. One in which God just barely spared my life. I was reminded that if I did not straighten my path, my God would have little choice but to take me Home. So I landed in Iowa that December. Bedraggled, worn, weary and still so stubborn. I had set in my heart that I was going back east as fast as possible. Still intent on my desire for sinful living, so sure it was the only way that I would ever know love.

I recognize now that an amazing thing happened after I made the move here to Iowa. Two months after I re-located, I was invited to Saylorville Baptist Church.

Little by ever so little, I began to unclench my fists and let the Lord heal the scrapes on my hands, the bruises on my knees from falling so often.

I began to let the blood from His nail-scarred hands seep into the cracks of a heart in pieces.

Do I sit here with it all figured out?  Anyone that knows me, knows that certainly is not the case!  I now grasp that the same Father Who covered me in my mother’s womb, sparing me from the statistics of abortion, is the same Abba Who so gently continues healing the hurts today. And why?  Because He wants me to love without measure, to offer the hope that He extended to me to those He brings along my path. I Timothy 1:16 reads, “I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display His unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on Him and receive eternal life.”  I praise Him that His mercy not only restored me to life, but restored me to live!

Jeremiah 33:3 promises, “Call unto Me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things which you cannot know.”  I have called, believe me, I have called and He has shown me time and time again, great and mighty things!!

Mine is a love story. It is a story of a God Who not only loved me enough to shed His blood for my stubborn, foolish sin; Who literally placed His hand over my unseen parts, allowing me to live; Who protected me from those who sought to bring me pain.  It is a story of a God Who pursues me yet, beckoning me to serve Him with all of my life.

The same God Who loves me beyond description offers the same to you!

“I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display His unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on Him and receive eternal life.”  I Timothy 1:16